Storied Orlando – Chapter 35: Woah

Storied Orlando
Chapter 35: Woah

“I mean, I don’t want to beat you with a dead horse…” Jenn said instantly aware she said that wrong yet the proper phrasing escaped her. He asked about her tatt so she nonchalantly confessed her habit of killing ferals…then kept talking. On a first date? Excellent work, Jenn. Her first date with the professor and first since her husband died. “If you think that’s weird,” offered Abe. “I climb into a closet and pretend to go to Mars pretty much every night.” A twinge in her stomach or heart made her say: “Woah.” Smiling, he replied, “Woah, indeed.”

Storied Orlando is a short-short story project by Scottie Campbell. Each story is 100 words or less. Some of the stories are lovely, some less so, but they all want to be told.

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Storied Orlando – Chapter 34: Critique

Storied Orlando
Chapter 34: Critique

Katie resisted the urge to blurt out at other museumgoers. She dug her fingernails into her palms and stared at OMA’s grey marbled floor. “He beat me!” she wanted to shout but didn’t. The painting was somewhere between impressionistic and abstract but clearly a woman’s body. She recognized the plump curves as her own and getting closer confirmed her ex was the artist. He was, in fact, the winner of this year’s Florida fucking Prize. “He beat me,” she whispered to two Japanese tourists. But she didn’t tell them she still loved him, nor that she’d take him back today.

Storied Orlando is a short-short story project by Scottie Campbell. Each story is 100 words or less. Some of the stories are lovely, some less so, but they all want to be told.

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Storied Orlando – Chapter 33: Baptism

Storied Orlando
Chapter 33: Baptism

Today, Jim turned thirty-three. He spent the night with the man he loves, though he hasn’t told him yet. Now, he stood in the living room of his house, the house he rented with his wife. Tears seeped through his buzz, courtesy of uncounted craft cocktails at Guesthouse. When would this lie end? Jim knew he had the courage — he would prove it right now. He walked out of his Fern Creek bungalow toward the John Long Pool, shedding clothes as he went. He clumsily scaled the fence, tossed his Calvins aside, then dove into cool, chlorinated, baptismal water.

Storied Orlando is a short-short story project by Scottie Campbell. Each story is 100 words or less. Some of the stories are lovely, some less so, but they all want to be told. 

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Storied Orlando – Chapter 32: Bill

Storied Orlando
Chapter 32: Bill

Bill’s lanky body communicated concern, languid hands gesturing, as his blond hair accentuated his habit of jerking his head to one side. The British ex-pat took the job in the OIA bookstore last month to keep himself busy after his wife of twenty-five years, his only real American connection, passed. He couldn’t explain why he started tearing page eight out of every Stephen King book, but he assumed he’d never see these travelers again. Now, here was a returning businesswoman thrusting the last in the Hodges trilogy at him. He maintained apologetic composure though, underneath, he was so very amused.

Storied Orlando is a short-short story project by Scottie Campbell. Each story is 100 words or less. Some of the stories are lovely, some less so, but they all want to be told.

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Storied Orlando – Chapter 31: Cleaning

Storied Orlando
Chapter 31: Cleaning

“Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.” ― James Thurber

When his wife cleans, Gary knows to stay out of the way. She doesn’t like his help with it — often saying as much — because he doesn’t clean to her standards. It’s best to stay clear because she turns into an obsessive terror: she is angry at him, angry at the house, angry at the grime. He hardly recognizes her when she cleans. So, Gary sits in his big armchair, sips bourbon, and reads Thurber, his favorite author. A cobweb in view from his chair makes him giggle; it’s been there for months, and she’d go absolutely bonkers if she knew.

Storied Orlando is a short-short story project by Scottie Campbell. Each story is 100 words or less. Some of the stories are lovely, some less so, but they all want to be told. 

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Storied Orlando – Chapter 30: Rocketman

Storied Orlando
Chapter 30: Rocketman

Since his wife left him for a fellow Rollins professor, Abe goes to Mars every night. He purchased a kid’s astronaut helmet from a thrift store in Ivanhoe, fashioned himself a passable uniform, then built a rather impressive (if he did say so himself) spacecraft from cardboard. Then he hung styrofoam planets and Christmas lights in the hall closet. People might find it odd that a man of forty-two climbs into his closet universe nightly with Elton on repeat in his earphones, but he doesn’t care. Yes, every night Abe goes to Mars and it keeps him off the bottle.

Storied Orlando is a short-short story project by Scottie Campbell. Each story is 100 words or less. Some of the stories are lovely, some less so, but they all want to be told. 

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Here & There


HERE & THERE
a short play by Scottie Campbell


Lights come up on two actors. They are in separate pools of light. When they speak it is forward to the audience as if they are looking directly at each other.

HERE
Hey

THERE
Hey!

HERE
Hey!

THERE
Hey!

HERE
Ohmigosh

THERE
I missed you

HERE
Ohmigosh. Ohmigosh. Ohmigosh!

THERE
I missed you

HERE
Ball.

THERE
I missed you.

HERE
Ball.

THERE
I  missed you.

HERE
Ball?

THERE
I miss…

HERE
Ball!

THERE
Wha…ball?

HERE
Ball

THERE
Yeah! Ball.

HERE
Ball

THERE
I don’t…

HERE
Ball

THERE
There isn’t.

HERE
WHAT?!

THERE
I don’t have a ball.

HERE
Can’t you just.

Here gestures around his head, There tries the gesture.

THERE
Doesn’t look like.

HERE
Ball?

THERE
No, sorry, buddy.

HERE
Shit.

THERE
Hey, now. I don’t want to disappoint you.

HERE
You come here and we play ball.

THERE
I come there and we play ball.

HERE
You come here and we play ball.

THERE
I come here. I’m trying to learn…

HERE
You haven’t learned. Here is here and you’re here.

Pause.

THERE
Ah, so this.

HERE
No, no. Already with that shit. No.

THERE
This is just a dream.

HERE
I’m not going.

THERE
Yeah, you’re a dream, because…

HERE
Why do you think this is okay?

THERE
Because you’re dead.

HERE
Yet, I’m here.

THERE
You’re dead.

HERE
Yet, here I am.

THERE
I still think…

HERE
Right on cue.

THERE
I still think it was too soon.

Pause.

THERE
What?

Pause.

THERE
What?

HERE
I’m trying to think of a way to say it so you’ll finally believe it.

THERE
What?

HERE
I was in pain. You saw me, I couldn’t stand up.

THERE
God, I can’t bear to remember it.

HERE
It was so peaceful. A shot and away I went.

THERE
Yeah.

HERE
In your arms.

THERE
In our arms.

HERE
Yes, how is he?

THERE
He misses you too.

HERE
Maybe, but he finds me here.

THERE
Do what?

HERE
Yeah, and a bit easier than you. And we don’t have to go through this routine.

THERE
Well, excuse me.

HERE
And he remembers the ball.

THERE
Son of a…

Pause.

HERE
It didn’t help, did it. You don’t believe.

THERE
I’m trying to get there.

HERE
That’s the problem. You need to get here.

THERE
I see that and I’m trying.

HERE
Meditate on it.

THERE
It’s alright to miss though.

HERE
Sure.

THERE
To miss your fur.

HERE
Yes.

THERE
To miss the way you looked at me.

HERE
Yes.

THERE
To miss the spooning.

HERE
I have to admit. I always knew I was inching you off the bed.


THERE
Jerk.

HERE
It kept you balanced.

Pause.

HERE
You’re still my hero.

THERE
Why?

HERE
Finding me there in the chain link. Taking me home. Loving me.

THERE
Probably will be the smartest decision I ever make.

HERE
Loving me, despite the shedding.

THERE
Why did I think that was a big deal?

HERE
Loving me even though I pulled with the leash.

THERE
Such a small thing now.

HERE
Loving me.


THERE
I think I have to go now.

HERE
Because it’s “just a dream.”

THERE
Yeah, and it hurts.

HERE
Go. Go. But know you can find me here.

THERE
Okay, okay.

HERE
One thing though.

THERE
Yes.

HERE
It’s about her.

THERE
Mom.

HERE
Try not to do this routine with her.

THERE
What do you mean?

HERE
The it’s “just a dream” routine.

THERE
But I realize it and…

HERE
And for fucksake don’t ever ask her not to come here.

THERE
I just asked her not to for a while. Because it hurt too much.

HERE
There’s heartache here too.

THERE
Didn’t think of that.

HERE
So next time, just go with it.

THERE
I’ll try. I’ll try to get there.

HERE
Try to get here.

THERE
Right, right. Anything else?

HERE
Lighten up. Lighten up in general. Take a little time to lick your balls now and then.

THERE
But I can’t lick…

Here is gone.

Here & There was originally performed in Orlando at Downtown Credo on Saturday, July 8, 2017 as part of Squeakfest 2017 produced by Pipsqueak Collective.

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